Farewell Jerr Bear

Unique Bodies~Determined Souls will be reposting through October some of it's most popular blog chapters from the past year since its inception while on a hiatus. We will return with new blog chapters about the individuals we serve who are breaking free of limitations and their "disability" to express and live more fully in their "ability" within the community. If you find these popular blog chapters touching and inspiring, please share with others who may enjoy knowing about Wendell Foster's Campus and the people we serve. And as always, thank you for reading!

Being new to Wendell Foster’s Campus (WFC), I hadn’t developed many relationship bonds with the residents but this all would change as I spend more time with the folks we serve in the Supports for Community Living (SCL) program, and the Intermediate Care Facility (ICF) of Centre Pointe, through our outpatient services of Green Therapy Pavilion and through the many Campus activities. Many of the folks who live on our Campus came here as children or young adults, while others arrived within the last several years. Two of our own who'd recently passed away to don angel’s wings were older, and well, we just know older people get sick and die, right? Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier, but it makes more sense to us. And so, I naively believed, given I’m still new, I wouldn’t experience heartbreak or grief around the loss of an individual for a long time. Jerry proved me wrong, teaching me the valuable lesson to value every moment we share with someone who touches our heart, who touches our soul.

On January 9, 2012 I met and spent the day with Jerry Watson as shared in previous blog chapters. Jerry's eyes are what struck me the most whenever we connected in “yes” and “no” conversations. They were determined, and I could tell in them he had so much more to say than he was able to fully express as we visited at lunch. I sensed a sharp intelligence behind those eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I’d briefly cross paths with Jerry a couple more times in the two short weeks that followed, even asking him upon our first encounter if he remembered me to which he said, yep. I was looking forward to future Campus events in which we’d run into each other and visit. I looked forward to sneaking away from the office again to spend another day out with him and others on another SCL trip.

That time wouldn’t come because two weeks after our first meeting, Jerry was hospitalized with pneumonia, and Jerry would never return home to WFC again. He passed away in the wee hours of the morning on January 31, 2012. He was 34 years old.

When I heard about the news of his hospitalization and that things weren’t looking good, I felt concern, but it never registered within me that he wouldn’t pull through it. When I heard his health worsened, and Hospice had been called in, I began to realize he probably wouldn’t make it. Upon hearing of his death the same morning I came in to work, I wasn’t surprised. In fact, I numbly received the news. My head had me believing what brief relationship Jerry and I had wasn’t enough to emotionally affect me. This death would be like others; I won’t feel the grief.

I was wrong. A couple of days after his death, I sat at my desk working through lunch when I received an email forwarded to me from our CEO on an unrelated matter; however, the email originated from an email announcement of Jerry’s passing. As I stared at the email, the emotion caught me off guard and welled up within me like lava bubbling to the surface of a volcano. I broke down, sobbing. I surprised myself as I cried for about five minutes at my desk. Even now as I write, I get teary-eyed. We only spent one day together! Why am I upset? A part of me thinks, You shouldn’t be crying, you didn’t know him very long, not like the other staff has for all these years.

The thing is Jerry captured my heart. His soul spoke to my soul through his eyes. When you open your heart to others, they find their way in and touch it. Within three months of being at WFC, I’d opened my heart, and let these beautiful spirits touch mine. Every individual we serve in some way has captured my heart. Jerry and I bonded in a 2nd Street crosswalk, and over the Green Bay Packers. I spent more time with Jerry than the others on our day together, crossing the streets in his sweet time, moseying through Towne Square Mall, lunching together at Show Me’s, and somehow, despite the communication barrier, exchanging a brief conversation about football. It was the most fun I’d had in a while, and one of the most memorable experiences I’ve had since arriving at WFC. My closest friend will attest, I prattled on about what a good time I had and how much I enjoyed the company of these Three Gents, especially Jerry.

Jerry reminded me about going with the flow of life, being in the moment, present in whatever the experience. I also learned from him:

• we can connect with others deeply when we allow ourselves to open up to it;
• to be free of rambling thoughts that distract us from the moment;
• to remember to breathe and focus on the moment at hand, and;
• to let go of judgment and assumptions so we may really see each other, be with each other, and connect with each other’s souls through the windows of our eyes.

Rest in peace, Jerry. We miss you. And hey, let God win a few video games now and then, okay?

We want to hear from you! Please share your responses and comments by clicking below on “Comment” – you may post them anonymously or using your gmail.com profile name.

“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley
Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email! Follow our blog! Click on “Join our Site” below.

Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Development Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber and/or other blog authors). Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus. Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.

Excited Yet Fearful

Unique Bodies~Determined Souls will be reposting through October some of it's most popular blog chapters from the past year since its inception while on a hiatus.  We will return with new blog chapters about the individuals we serve who are breaking free of limitations and their "disability" to express and live more fully in their "ability" within the community.  

If you find these popular blog chapters touching and inspiring, please share with others who may enjoy knowing about Wendell Foster's Campus and the people we serve.  And as always, thank you for reading!

Growing up in Owensboro, I vaguely remember Wendell Foster’s Campus. Upon return after a 26 year absence, Wendell Foster’s Campus (WFC) appeared as a blip on my radar. While job hunting, I noticed a position opening for a Community Education Assistant at WFC. Given my background in non-profit program management, public education and marketing, the job seemed to be a good fit so I applied, but since my resume may prove me over-qualified for the position, I did not expect to hear back from WFC. I sent it anyway.

I knew nothing about WFC until I conducted research upon a surprising invitation for an interview. Only then, I learned this organization served individuals with developmental disabilities as a residential campus and outpatient facility to those with autism, cerebral palsy and other brain-related injuries/illnesses. Cool, I thought, I’ve enjoyed working with individuals with disabilities through volunteer work. What little did I know how little I knew about WFC at this point!

Only until I stepped onto the grounds for my interview did I understand the magnificent presence this campus has. One conversation with my future supervisor, Maggie Price, and a brief tour of the Sensory Park ignited my inner desire to become a part of this organization. I was excited at the possibility to serve as a voice in support of a segment of our community enduring discrimination still today in Owensboro. The history of the organization further impressed: a Christian grass root effort of perseverance and faith through challenging times as a couple led the charge to support their own “spastic” child (the crude medical diagnosis of those with physical/mental disabilities in the 1940’s). More amazing was Edith and Wendell Foster’s willingness to share their knowledge and experience with other families in similar circumstances and the continuous commitment over sixty years to provide invaluable services, care and independence for children with developmental disabilities. Whatever apathy I had upon applying for this position transmuted into passion-arousing excitement at the opportunity to be an advocate for an inspirational group of people. Eventually, I’m asked to return for a second interview and within a week, I’m offered the job!

But then it happened. Normal, not uncommon, and yet, unsettling for anyone stepping into an unfamiliar situation. Naturally rising to the surface, generational, social and personal apprehensions reflected in this country’s history of discrimination, stereotyping, and fear. A sense of dread set in as questions, doubt, fear reared ugly heads: How do I relate to them? Communicate? Will I be adequate in dealing with them? What if I can’t? What will people think of me working with this population? Can I handle being around them? Could I be comfortable around them? Apprehension replaced my excitement. The illusions disguised as an inability to relate, to understand and be around individuals whose physical appearances, verbal incapacities, and behavioral patterns seemed so severe tempted me to back out, to run the other direction. But how can I think this way, feel this way? I have volunteered with individuals with developmental disabilities before, and loved it! Why am I hesitant?

Now I embark on a new adventure in my professional journey, joining WFC that’s positioned in a crossroads of strategic shift: to improve the quality of services it delivers by embracing a mindset of “person-centered” service delivery to further expand the empowerment of our targeted population. And I bring my baggage of fear, doubt, and apprehension in tow as I step through the doors of Wendell Foster’s Campus to report for my first day of work.

We want to hear from you! Please share your responses and comments by clicking below on “Comment” – you may post them anonymously or using your gmail.com profile name.

“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley
Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email! Follow our blog! Click on “Join our Site” below.

Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Development Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber and/or other blog authors). Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus. Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.

My Brother's Valuable Life

This week's blog post is a reprint of an editorial written by Cal Thomas.  Thomas is co-author (with Bob Beckel) of the book, "Common Ground: How to Stop the Partisan War That is Destroying America".

How does one measure whether a life was a success, or a failure?

Some would measure it by recognition, that is, how many knew the person's name. For others, the measure of a successful life would be the amount of wealth accumulated, or possessions held. Still others would say a life was successful if the person made a major contribution to society -- in medicine, sports, politics, or the arts.

By that standard my brother, Marshall Stephen Thomas, who died January 5, was a failure. If, however, your standard for a successful life is how that life positively touched others, then my brother's life was a resounding success.

Shortly after he was born in 1950, Marshall was diagnosed with Down syndrome. Some in the medical community referred to the intellectually disabled as "retarded" back then, long before the word became a common schoolyard epithet. His doctors told our parents he would never amount to anything and advised them to place him in an institution. Back then, this was advice too often taken by parents who were so embarrassed about having a disabled child that they often refused to take them out in public.

Our parents wanted none of that. In the '50s, many institutions were snake pits where inhumanities were often tolerated and people were warehoused until they died, often in deplorable conditions. While they weren't wealthy, they were committed to seeing that Marshall had the best possible care, no matter how long he lived. Because of their dedication and thanks to the Kennedy family and their commitment to the rights, causes and issues related to the mentally and physically challenged, Marshall had a longer and better quality of life than might have been expected. He outlived his life expectancy by nearly 40 years. He lived his life dancing and singing and listening to music he loved.

Yes, it cost our parents a lot of money to give him the care they believed he deserved. They might have taken more vacations, owned a fancier house and driven a luxurious car, but before we valued things more than people, they valued Marshall more than any tangible thing. And that care rubbed off on me and other family members.

The stereotype about people who call themselves conservatives is that we don't care for the less fortunate. Even if that were true (which it isn't), Marshall deepened my sensitivity and understanding for the mentally and physically challenged and for those who, like our parents, committed themselves to caring for others who were touched by a malady that could easily have been ours.

I was seven years old when Marshall was born. A year or two later when the diagnosis was made, I bought a popular book written by Dale Evans and gave it to our parents. It was called "Angel Unaware." The title was taken from a verse in the New Testament which says, "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." (Hebrews 13:2) Evans' book was about the Down syndrome child she had with her husband, Roy Rogers.

Roy and Dale named their daughter Robin Elizabeth and their commitment to her (she died at the age of 2) strongly influenced our parents' decision to take care of Marshall, rather than institutionalize him. While it was sometimes difficult for them and later after their death, for me, we never regretted that decision because of the joy Marshall brought to our lives.

In an age when we discard the inconvenient and unwanted in order to pursue pleasure and a life free of burdens, this may seem strange to some. I recall a line from the long-running Broadway musical, "The Fantasticks": "Deep in December, it's nice to remember, without a hurt the heart is hollow."

Marshall Thomas' "hurts" filled a number of hollow hearts.

At the end of the Christmas classic "It's a Wonderful Life," George Bailey reads an inscription in a book given to him by Clarence, his guardian angel: "Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

No life is a failure when it causes so many to care for others. At that my brother succeeded magnificently.

Editor's Note:  Unique Bodies~Determined Souls will be on break for the next month, and rerun in the interim our most popular posts over the last year. We return in November with news about how those we serve at Wendell Foster's Campus are stepping beyond limitations to become more of who they are, and how our staff supports them in moving towards greater independence and personal empowerment.

If any of these stories touch your heart, please share them with others through Facebook, Twitter or via email.  We appreciate your support in helping us educate the public about how the individuals with developmental disabilities we serve overcome to find the "abilities" within them!

Thank you for reading!

Fear: The Other “F” Word

Today's blog is by special guest blogger, Mike Berkson, one of the two stars in the stage performance of Handicap This! which is coming to Owensboro, KY on Thursday, September 20 at the Riverpark Center. After his birth, the doctor told Mike's parents that Mike would never speak, walk or think like a normal child. By age three, Mike spoke more words than his "able-bodied" twin brother. Mike shares that he and his mom returned to that doctor, "and at her instruction, I said to him: 'Quit your day job.'" Enjoy!

Your eyes dilate. Your pulse quickens. Your mouth becomes dry. Your hands begin to tremble. Your body is in complete panic mode all because you are afraid.
Have you ever seen a high-wire tightrope act? I always marvel at their ability to dazzle us with their physical agility and strength. Not only are they so high up, but they look graceful and confident while doing it. It seems physically impossible! How do they do it? Let’s face it, most people at some point are going to trip just walking down the street.

There is a family known as “The Flying Wallendas.” For generations this family has been performing death-defying acts that boggle the mind, astound the eyes, and make us spontaneously break out into a cold sweat. They have looked fear in the face and they have said, “No, I am not going to let this emotion affect something that I love to do.”

Most people are paralyzed by fear. That is what fear does. It stops us in our tracks. Fear sets up a road block that we don’t think we will ever be able to get through. Some members of “The Flying Wallendas” have perished doing what they love, yet they all still live their passion. In fact, Nik Wallenda successfully walked over Niagara Falls on a tightrope this summer. Of course, this is an EXTREME example of facing your fears. We are not expecting ANYONE to go run out and start learning how to tightrope walk, however we can look to the Wallendas and we can be inspired to overcome our own fears, the stumbling blocks that make us stay where we are in our lives.

If they can walk across a razor-thin wire without the safety of a net, what can you do? You can make that call you have been to afraid to make, you can go for a new job, you can go back to school, you can start training for a marathon, you can put yourself out there with the confidence, knowing that you have the power to overcome your own fear.

Fear is something that you attach to yourself. You give it the power and you have the power to get rid of it.

Handicap This!

Mike

In the Next Blog Entry:  Guest Blog by Cal Thomas, My Brother's Valuable Life - “ Shortly after he was born in 1950, Marshall was diagnosed with Down syndrome. Some in the medical community referred to the intellectually disabled as "retarded" back then, long before the word became a common schoolyard epithet.”

We want to hear from you! Please share your responses and comments by clicking below on “Comment” – you may post them anonymously or using your gmail.com profile name.

“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley
Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email! Follow our blog! Click on “Join our Site” below.

Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Developmental Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber and/or other blog authors). Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus. Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.

 

How to Feel More Comfortable?? LAUGH!!

Today's blog is by special guest blogger, Mike Berkson, one of the two stars in the stage performance of Handicap This! which is coming to Owensboro, KY on Thursday, September 20 at the Riverpark Center. After his birth, the doctor told Mike's parents that Mike would never speak, walk or think like a normal child. By age three, Mike spoke more words than his "able-bodied" twin brother. Mike shares that he and his mom returned to that doctor, "and at her instruction, I said to him: 'Quit your day job.'" Enjoy!

 

I have trained myself to be able to laugh off mistakes, both by myself and other people. I have a theory that people are afraid to make a mistake around me because they don’t know how I am going to react to them. So, it is more about me and less about them. I want people to feel comfortable in these types of situations for two reasons:

1) It’s okay to make a mistake.
2) More importantly, it is more than okay to react with humor.

Being able to look at situations with a sense of humor decreases the awkwardness and can lead to a greater understanding of the parties involved. Unfortunately, this phenomenon of mutual laughter almost never happens. I am happy to say, however, that it did happen to me recently and it was nice to see someone laugh at their mistake.

I went to see an ear, nose, and throat specialist because I have been experiencing congestion, coughing, as well as clogged ears. The doctor had to numb the inside of my nose in order to stick a microscope up to see what was going on. After he sprayed my nose, there was definitely some leakage (for lack of a better term). He saw this and immediately offered me a Kleenex. He held it out in such a way for me to take it. Problem. I can’t reach or grab anything let alone a Kleenex. Anyone looking at me can tell that my arms don’t move and my hands don’t grab. There was about a 3 second gap before he realized I would not be able to grab the Kleenex. Most people would say, “I’m really sorry,” or they wouldn’t say anything at all. They would shrug it off and look embarrassed and it would be awkward for the rest of the interaction. This particular fellow looked at me and said, “Man, am I a jackass!” We all looked at each other and laughter ensued. I wasn’t mad at him for offering me the Kleenex, nor was I offended. People make mistakes and that is ok. I know this might seem small, but to me it was a pretty big deal considering that this rarely happens. It left me with a good feeling in 2 ways:

1) I found someone willing to use humor.
2) There is hope out there for more people to act like this.

So remember, regardless of a person’s handicap, never underestimate the power of laughter to ease tension and bring people closer together. That’s what we try to do each and every time we perform.

Handicap This!

Mike

Visit http://handicapthis.com for more information about Mike and Tim's show.

We want to hear from you! Please share your responses and comments by clicking below on “Comment” – you may post them anonymously or using your gmail.com profile name.

“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley
Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email!Follow our blog!Click on “Join our Site” below.

Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Developmental Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber (and/or other blog authors).  Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus.  Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.

Going Once, Twice, SOLD!

Every April for many years, Wendell Foster’s Campus (WFC) benefits from a fundraiser called the “Chili Supper & Pie Auction.”  Hosted by the Whitesville Lions Club of Whitesville, Kentucky, this small community comes together to raise money for WFC by making, baking, buying, and donating pies and even cakes.  Little did I know what an experience I was in for!

Held in the Whitesville Senior Citizen’s Center, at least six tables were decorated and filled with donated goodies.  Whitesville locals, Lions Club members and/or their wives, WFC staff, friends and supporters don their aprons to whip up a scrumptiously sinful pie or cake.  I’m not talking the Ferber-method of dumping cake mix into a rectangle pan, bake and then slop some icing on top!  I’m talking fancy schmancy!  One WFC staffer made a carrot cake, only it was shaped and iced like a carrot, complete with its green foliage top.  Another staff member made a cheese custard pie topped with home-made edible mice figures sitting on cheese wedges!  The list goes on . . .  you’d just have to see the photos to believe it! By the time the pie auction started, there were close to ninety desserts up for bid!

In attendance were a few notable community members in political offices was well as WFC board members and staff, several Campus residents and other generous supporters from the community. After bowls of spicy hot chili were consumed, an opening prayer and the pledge of allegiance recited, the auctioneer starts the bidding. Opening bid for the first pie? $100!  I understood pies in the past sold for as much as $800 or more dollars, but never did I dream bids would open at $100.  It was AWESOME!  While young “Vannas” move about the floor showing the dessert on the auction block, the auctioneers ribbed people they know in the crowd in jest, tempting hesitant bidders pulling back from the competition for a good pie or cake.

These desserts were creative works of art.  A cake shaped like a woman’s torso in a bikini was a hit; the donor works in a dermatologist’s office, and ever conscious of skin health, included a bottle of sunscreen and a beach towel with it!  A county judge baked an apple pie complete with a side-order of Pepto-Bismal.  The “Barrel of M&M’s” tempted many a sweet tooth – a cake edged with Twix cookie bars and filled with peanut M&M’s.  Oh, and the “sugar-free” Reese’s Chocolate Cake left many scratching their heads at the contradiction!  And a Godiva Chocolate Cake topped with large, plump chocolate-dipped strawberries.   The Passionist Nuns even get into the action with their ever popular pecan pies, an annual favorite.  So many desserts, so little blogging space!  Bidders as young as five were hankering for their slice of sweetness!

Periodically during the auction, bidding becomes exclusive for WFC peeps who love the thrill of the competition!  Bidding starts at a dollar, and several times, their bids reached close to $100!  With a little financial help from a few anonymously donated twenties, our residents bid to their hearts’ content.  Olive Garden donated Dolcini’s, a variety of mini-dessert cups of pudding and cake, to the Pie Auction, and our Campus residents had their eyes on those.  The Dolicini’s became a “Resident Only” bid item which created quite the bidding war between John, Willie and Rhonda.  The outcome?  You’ll have to check out the video to watch the fun and find out who outbid whom!

With thirty pies still to go late in the evening, bidding started at “twenty-five dolla” to help move the rest of the good stuff as the crowd dwindles.  The bidding becomes seductive and addictive, and I’m pulled into a bidding war for one of my favorite combos, lemon and raspberry pie.  In the end, I go home with three pies. Not too bad, and all for a good cause!

This Pie Auction is a hoot and nothing like I’ve ever experienced in my life.  It’s fun, fun, fun to watch the playfulness between so many who come out to support what Wendell Foster’s Campus does to serve people with developmental disabilities.  But the greatest joy of the evening was watching John, Willie, Butch, Rhonda, and our other WFC peeps compete for their sweet prizes and the fun they had doing it!  I love that the Whitesville Lions Club includes them in the activity, giving them an opportunity to give back to the community that loves and supports them. 

If you want a real heart-warming, yummy in the tummy experience, come out next year to the Whitesville Lions Club Chili Supper & Pie Auction!  You won’t regret it.

In the Next Blog Entry: Guest Blogger Mike Berkson, How to Feel More Comfortable?  LAUGH! - “ I can’t reach or grab anything let alone a Kleenex. . . . . my arms don’t move and my hands don’t grab. There was about a 3 second gap before he realized I would not be able to grab the Kleenex. . . . . . This particular fellow looked at me and said, “Man, am I a jackass!”

We want to hear from you! Please share your responses and comments by clicking below on “Comment” – you may post them anonymously or using your gmail.com profile name.

“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley
Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email! Follow our blog! Click on “Join our Site” below.

Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Developmental Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber and/or other blog authors). Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus. Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.

I’ve Got a Story!

In presenting our Spread the Word to End the “r” Word presentation to 5^th through 8^th graders, I share a lot of factual information most students haven’t heard before from anyone.  As students experience a paradigm shift from ignorance (lacking factual knowledge) to a place of greater awareness, their compassion deepens as well.  As a result, the students freely and honestly share their stories during the Q& A time following the presentation.  And what heart-warming, yet heart-wrenching stories they are!

During Q & A, the flood gates of their mind open!   More stories are shared than questions asked as students bust with the need to share what they know and people they know and have met with disabilities.  Dots connecting, these students feel compelled to impart their newfound understanding:  that someone they know has this or that, or someone they once saw did this or did that.  This sudden “need to share and tell stories” demonstrates two important outcomes of this presentation.  First, they share as if to reconcile that somewhere along the way they met someone with a disability, didn’t think much of them, and are now replacing their initial reaction with their newfound understanding.  Second, I consider their shares as “bursts” of greater awareness: they understanding what they have seen in others, but didn't realize about them.  This new awareness activates their compassion that now runs a little deeper than before, as they see beyond the physicality and mannerisms of people with developmental and intellectual disabilities.  

One 7^th grader came up after a presentation to tell me her brother has autism, asking if I knew him.  She continued to tell me how moved she was by my presentation, adding I made her almost cry twice!  Concerned, I asked why.  She explained her younger brother was taken from their family, and she doesn't ever get to see him.  I didn’t ask about the details around the situation, but her sadness around missing her brother was evident.  She felt disconnected from her sibling, and as a result, a loss.

Another 5^th grade student shared in class that his mother did drugs when she was pregnant with him.  That was it; that’s all he wanted to say.  I thanked him for his share and told him how glad I was that he had his physical ability to do all that he can do despite that fact.  I sensed he was feeling gratitude, or maybe just lucky but didn’t know how else to express it.

Another 7^th grader asked me if his brother lived on our campus.  I explained I couldn’t really answer his question because I was so new at this point, I really didn’t know!  I have learned the person asking the question usually already knows the answer, so I sometimes ask in response, “I don't know.  Does he?”   In this case, the young man smiled knowingly and said “yes”.  Then I asked him if he visits his brother, to which he replied “no.” He further explained the individual is his half-brother and that he's not seen him in a long time.  He told me his name and asked me to say “hi” for him.  My heart ached as this student walked away, wondering why any parent, biological, step- or otherwise, would deprive a child of knowing his sibling.

One student shared in her prize winning essay the story of how she and a group of friends were sitting together at lunch when a couple of older kids walked by calling their siblings the “r” word.  She describes in her essay the look on her friend’s face when she heard it, explaining this friend has a sibling with a disability.  This high school essay winner spoke from the heart when she wrote her essay.

Not unlike the way our society underestimates the potential, abilities, and capabilities of those with intellectual and developmental disabilities, we adults tend to underestimate children’s emotional and intellectual capability to understand life and all that it is.  Sometimes, we lean towards sheltering them from the realities of the world in an effort to shield or protect them.   Kids are much more resilient than we give them credit for; and if we helped them understand people living lives with cerebral palsy, cognitive challenges and autism are not abnormal or “wrong,” but rather simply present unique challenges, perhaps less insensitivity might exist.  I explain to students that we each are different, unique in our own way:  some may be more athletic while others are better at math, while others are creative and like to draw or write.  Yet, despite this uniqueness, we are really ALL the same:  we want to belong; we want to be a part of something; we want to be loved, accepted, and treated well.  Kids get that but I believe we adults tend to forget.

If we can take the time ourselves to understand things we don’t understand about other people through inquiry, experience and research, rather than making quick judgments and decisions at face value, based on public opinion or historically inaccurate information, perhaps we’d know greater compassion, respect and harmony in our lives, and in the world.  And then if we all would take the time to educate our children about these values verses “protect” them from “difficult” subjects (an adult’s excuse to not deal with it him or herself?), then maybe we’d see young people having and showing more respect and compassion for all people – elderly, parents, strangers, people in authority, individuals with disabilities, even each other.

Yes, these kids can and do get it, sometimes better than we adults do!

In the Next Blog Entry: Going Once, Twice, SOLD! - “Periodically during the auction, bidding becomes exclusive for WFC peeps who loved the thrill of the competition!  Bidding starts at a dollar, and several times, their bids reached close to $100!”

We want to hear from you! Please share your responses and comments by clicking below on “Comment” – you may post them anonymously or using your gmail.com profile name.

“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley
Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email! Follow our blog! Click on “Join our Site” below.

Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Development Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber and/or other blog authors). Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus. Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.

Educating the Grown Ups

Through my coordination of the Spread the Word campaign, I interact with school representatives at every level within seven area school districts: superintendents to principals to teachers.  We at Wendell Foster’s Campus (WFC) recognize these school representatives are extremely busy, especially the teachers, so when we are invited into the schools to speak, we are very grateful for the opportunity.  A few schools annually invite us to speak to their students; this year, I presented to over 1100 students ranging from 5^th – 8^th grades in Daviess County and Owensboro public schools.  I also spoke to a group of students participating on the “Everybody Counts” council (pictured), a body of 4^th and 5^th grade leaders advocating the acceptance of diversity within the school.

While a few teachers incorporated the campaign’s theme into classroom assignments, and/or encouraged student participation in the poster contests, only one school outside of Daviess County took advantage of the informational presentation.  As a result, many posters reflected students’ misunderstanding of the Campaign’s message and intent. For example, we received dozens of posters showing someone in a wheelchair or on crutches being asked to play basketball.  While reflecting the importance of inclusion, the posters failed to depict student understanding to the insensitivity of the “r” word.   Granted, March madness was well underway at that time as several Kentucky teams were competing for the NCAA championship.  I suppose we were all under the influence of basketball fever!

Our campaign presentation gets “real” with the students as to what it means to have an intellectual (ID) or developmental disability (DD), and student volunteers experience these "disabilities" firsthand with a sensitivity exercise.  The presentation also explains the physiological conditions many see when meeting someone with cerebral palsy using real-life examples.  These shares often generated an eye-opening “ah-ha” shift that move young listeners from ignorance to compassion.  Well-meaning adults unfamiliar with the plight of those we serve inadvertently provide incorrect information based on their limited understanding of these disabilities.  For example, one poster submitted by a young student repeatedly mentions the “r” word on it and states that “retard-retarded is a diaese [sic] (disease)”.  If this well-meaning student received any information at all, she received inaccurate information.

As much as we tend to underestimate the intelligence and capabilities of those with ID and DD, we also tend to underestimate the intelligence and ability of young students to understand grown-up things.  An elementary principal shared how her daughter “called out” an adult family member during a get-together for his use of the “r” word.  Having participating in the Campaign through her class, this young lady explained his use of this word was insensitive and hurtful and why.  Well-informed, and somewhat knowledgeable as to the challenges faced by those with disabilities, this student advocated greater compassion while teaching respect and sensitivity towards this population.

Talking to 5^th, 6^th, 7^th and 8^th graders may seem a daunting task, especially when the subject is developmental and intellectual disabilities, and I admit  that I initially felt nervous.  But after the first presentation for Spread the Word campaign, I understood how powerfully impactful this campaign is when these children began sharing their stories.  And heartbreaking stories they were!

In the Next Blog Entry: I've Got a Story! - “. . . . her brother has autism . . . . .  how moved she was by my presentation, adding I made her almost cry twice . . . . . her younger brother was taken from their family. . . . ”

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Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Development Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber and/or other blog authors). Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus. Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.