Monday, January 30, 2012

"I Can Do It."

Owensboro has been nationally known to have more restaurants per capita than most towns in the country.  Our town likes to eat!  So when a new restaurant comes to town, Owensboro is abuzz with excitement and so are the individuals who live and work at Wendell Foster’s Campus (WFC).

Becky and Steve are two individuals with developmental disabilities living on our Campus who wanted to try the new Logan’s Roadhouse restaurant.  On the second day of its debut, two WFC staffers took them to lunch, an experience that far exceeded their expectations. Upon pulling up to the front door to unload the WFC van, Logan’s Roadhouse staff came outside to greet them and inquire about their accommodation needs for dining.  After a minute or so in what was a packed restaurant, the hostess escorted the foursome to their table.  Ian, their waiter, immediately introduced himself, asking each person his and her name as he took drink orders.   When taking orders, Ian directly looked at and asked Becky and Steve what they wanted for lunch, often a rare practice.  Most people talk over an individual with a developmental disability to ask staff or family members what he or she wants or needs.  Throughout their meal, waiters and the manager stopped by their table to visit, offer refills and ask if their meals were enjoyable.  Some developmental issues make swallowing food a life-threatening challenge, thus, meals must be processed in a mini-grinder.  Logan’s staff went out of their way to rearrange a few things so WFC staff had easy access to an electrical outlet to grind Becky and Steve’s food.

Word spread among the residential facility about the incredible service, accommodation, and inclusiveness that Logan’s Roadhouse and its staff offered them.  Two others from WFC, Bryant and Corey, went to lunch at Logan’s and received the same impeccable consideration and efforts to ensure their dining experience was enjoyable and accommodated to their unique needs.  Their waiter, Ryan, even shot the bull with Bryant about MTV and other topics young adults discuss.

Individuals with developmental disabilities don’t expect royal treatment, simply equal treatment and access to the same services everyone enjoys.  Logan’s Roadhouse staff went above and beyond to create a warm and welcoming dining experience for Becky and Steve and their friends.  And you can be sure they won some lifelong patrons as a result.

Interestingly, we must also be careful not to overcompensate in our efforts in being helpful to individuals with disabilities; doing so can become in and of itself discriminatory.  In my first week, I simultaneously approached a set of double doors just as Shelly did.  As she approached them in her electric wheelchair, I stopped after I went through them and held open the door so she could come through, without asking first if she needed my help.  Shelly quickly but sweetly chided, “I can do it.”

Her message was loud and clear – she had the ability, and wanted to do this herself.  I smiled, and said, “Of course you can,” and went on my merry way.   Shelly proceeded to maneuver herself to the automatic door opener button on the wall to push it and power through in her wheelchair.

Helpful by nature, I quickly learned the individuals we serve have different abilities to do for themselves.  Some need more assistance than others, but I learned not to assume anyone needs or wants my help.  Wendell Foster’s Campus serves to empower, an opportunity those we serve zealously embrace.  I realized in my effort to be helpful, I inadvertently disabled Shelly because I saw what I thought she couldn’t do.  She and others like her have special needs that require some accommodation, but they deserve no less respect, courteousness, quality of service, or equality than you or me.  Asking someone with a disability (anyone really!) what they need empowers the individual with choice, and the right of refusal.  Individuals with any kind of disability also have the right to receive any service provided within our community, and to be accommodated in such a fashion that allows them to reasonably participate in those services.

Owensboro is blessed to have many businesses within our community that get it and proactively support those we serve when they visit.  Unfortunately, there are still many businesses, and individuals within our community that live in ignorance, and reflect it through their choices and behavior upon being in the company of an individual with a developmental disability.

In the Next Blog Entry:  A Snakepit for Children - “. . . . patients were used as medical scientific projects by being infected with live hepatitis in order to develop a vaccine.”

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“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley.  Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email!

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Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Development Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber and/or other blog authors).  Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus.  Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.

The Algebraic Formula for Fear

Our society has within it an engrained perception, reaction, and belief system about individuals with developmental disabilities, myself included, which shows up in subtle ways.  For example, upon starting my position at Wendell Foster’s Campus (WFC), a little voice whispered, “Avoid running into or looking at any of them.”  The source was Fear, taught through a history of generational and ancestral roots seeded in a long history of societal public opinion towards this population.  And I succumbed.

By the end of the second day of training, I realized I was purposefully not making eye contact with any of the Campus residents as they moved through the break area.  Wow, I thought to myself, is that really how I want to show up in this work?  As a human being?  I used fear as an avoidance tactic.

I’ve learned from personal experience that Fear breeds a very active imagination, which is fueled by inaccurate belief systems, lack of information, and learned social and generational attitudes.  In one research study I read, it said, “negative attitudes toward people with disabilities are rooted in lack of knowledge and the perpetuation of erroneous, often negative stereotypes.” In other words, what you believe and don’t know, shapes what you think, say and do!  Our parents, grandparents, peers, in addition to our own personal experiences, mixed with media messaging all influence how we think about and interact with people different from us, in any given situation. I finally understood what “ignorance” really means:  the lack of understanding from an intellectual perspective, which cultivates inaccurate belief systems.  In a nutshell, Lack of Info + Inaccurate Beliefs + Unfamiliarity = Fear Activated.

It had been over two years since I last volunteered with individuals with disabilities.  I questioned my ability to interact with the residents and clients of WFC.  I was uncertain as to what extreme of disabilities I would encounter; additionally, I also felt pressure, admittedly self-imposed, to perform perfectly within those interactions.  Why?  Because those who worked here did it every day; and I feared being judged as inadequate, or chastised if I didn’t handle myself perfectly with the clients.

Because of my fear, I averted my own discomfort by initially avoiding those I encountered in the first two days of work.  I was afraid I couldn’t communicate, or I would say something to offend the residents, or my new employer.  I’d prefer to ignore them rather than perform imperfectly.  Ironic, isn’t it, given these individuals live in less than perfect-functioning bodies?  How incredibly vain and selfish I was being!  My fear and I was robbing myself of opportunities to enjoy some amazing “persons” because my focus was on the “disability.”  The next day, I made sure I looked each person with and without a disability that moved through the break area in the eye, greeting him or her with a resounding “Hi!”

Recognizing that the unfamiliar activates fear helps one move through it.  I gave myself permission to be imperfect, and through conscious effort to engage, I reclaimed my confidence and enjoyed meaningful human connections that brought smiles to my face, warmth and joy to my heart.

Fear keeps us from living and experiencing incredible joy; it also prevents us from significantly making a difference in this world.  We all have potential to make a difference, potential we take for granted.  At Wendell Foster’s Campus, our residents conquer huge hurdles to tap into and activate their potential to make a difference in our community!  And they achieve it, breaking through obstacles and fear, so they may read to elementary school children, participate to ride the Green Belt with a local bicycle club, travel to and from work on GRITS buses, paint artwork, take photos, or connect with the world on Facebook.  The residents at WFC inspire me to practice fearless living.

In the Next Blog Entry:  "I Can Do It" - “Shelly quickly but sweetly chided, “I can do it.”  Her message was loud and clear  . . . . “

We want to hear from you!  Please share your responses and comments by clicking below on “Comment” – you may post them anonymously or using your gmail.com profile name.

“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley.  Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email!

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Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Development Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber and/or other blog authors).  Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus.  Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.

Deep Breaths and Kleenex

Reporting for my first day of work with Wendell Foster’s Campus for Developmental Disabilities (WFC), I felt the butterflies in my stomach.  In the prior two weeks, I didn’t think much about WFC.  People asked if I was excited, but I felt ambivalent, until a few days before starting.  Then, the realization set in, “I start Monday;” and, so started the knots in my stomach.

Upon arrival, several new employees were already waiting in the lobby where I joined them; the wait felt like forever.  Antsy, I got up and started perusing the display case in the front lobby which houses historical memorabilia of the Fosters and WFC.  Seeing the organization’s history behind glass calmed my nerves.  People continued to filter in, and you could hear a pin drop.  None of us was saying a word to each other, and barely making eye contact.  Crossed legs rocked intently; some were simply staring ahead, or fidgeting with their cell phones.  Sensitive to people’s energy, I felt nervous energy, anxiety and fear.  The room felt edgy.   I needed to relax, and breathing helps – slow deep breaths in and slow exhales out.  Again.  Again.  The butterflies settled down.

The morning involved the usual human resources stuff:  documentation for the 1099, paperwork on direct deposits, benefits, policies and procedures, health screenings and vaccinations, etc.   I was the only administrative employee in training.  One co-worker was a nurse and the others were Direct Support Providers (DSPs).  Introductions were made and we spoke for the first time outside of paperwork questions.   We were still hesitant with uncertainty.

We watched a video about Willowbrook State School, a 4000 bed facility housing 6000 children and adults with developmental disabilities.  Geraldo Rivera’s investigation revealed horrifying conditions of this state-run facility which operated from 1956 until its closure in 1972, and my heart ached.  Tears welled up and flowed freely from my eyes.  C’mon Ferbster, I chided, toughen up and handle this!  In hindsight, I realized I was telling myself, you can’t feel any emotion.

Next, my supervisor talked about the WFC mission, vision and guiding principles.  Her presentation may as well have been the kindling to fuel the low-flamed excitement I’d been feeling.  My passion reignited, and I felt exhilaration again.  Then we watched another video about a student with autism realize his dream of playing basketball with his team, making an incredible six three-point shots!  I was once again moved. “Really, Carolyn?  Again with the tears?”  I chastised myself.  And then it struck me:  I’m afraid I’ll be perceived as being unable to emotionally handle this job!”  I learned later there are a lot of tears around WFC:  tears of joy; tears of concern; tears of frustration; tears of heartache; tears shared with the residents.  How can someone work here without having heart?  I don’t know how a tough heart could escape softening upon hearing the stories of these individuals, the obstacles and triumphs they’ve experienced in their journey.

By the end of our training week, many of us were bravely admitting we were scared about working with this group of individuals.  Yes, that’s right, bravely; because it takes a great deal of courage to admit fear.  Isn’t that an oxymoron?!  Perhaps our fears came from feeling personal inadequacy, or we’d be forced to look at some of our own baggage when it comes to our thoughts and past treatment towards those we’ve met and known with disabilities.  Maybe we subconsciously hold fear because something within us knew we would be forever changed upon meeting and working with the residents of WFC.  Or maybe, we doubted ourselves as having anything of value to contribute here.

My co-trainees and I, any of us, have something to contribute to WFC, though in the big scheme of things, I believe we are the benefactors with much to gain from being here.  We become involved in the lives of these individuals, and maybe our fear is about our getting too close, too attached, too emotionally connected in heart.  For me personally, I’m glad I moved through the fear and connected.  The payoff is immeasurable.

In the Next Blog Entry:   The Algebraic Formula for Fear - I was purposely not looking up at any WFC community members as they moved through the area . . . . . “

We want to hear from you!  Please share your responses and comments by clicking below on “Comment” – you may post them anonymously or using your gmail.com profile name.

“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley.  Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email!  Follow our blog!  Click on “Join our Site” below.

Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Development Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber (and/or other blog authors).  Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus.  Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.

Leave Your Baggage at the Door

How do I relate to them?  Communicate?  Will I be adequate in dealing with them?  What if I can’t?  What will people think of me working with them? Can I handle being around them?  Could I be comfortable around them? Wow. Like most people, I’d relegated an entire sector of the human population into the classification of one pronoun.

Before entering Wendell Foster’s Campus doors, I had to conduct a “baggage check.”  The “baggage check” is when one opens up his or her baggage, and takes a look at what s/he carries in emotions, antiquated beliefs, stereotypical thinking and feelings.  The purpose is to identify and clear the cobwebs of fear, doubt, insecurity, and anxiety.  Conducting the “baggage check” on one’s stuff takes a great deal of courage, and a willingness to look at oneself, in one’s own heart with an objective eye.  Here’s what I found in my baggage:

“Them.”  “Them” are people who have names, unique personalities, feelings!  Despite a stereotypical thought that individuals with developmental disabilities are “stupid” or clueless, they aren’t.  They grasp how people see, talk to and behave towards them.  My thoughts succumbed to the popular classification practice our society uses in segregation.

Guilt.  I realized I felt guilty, because I am okay and they aren’t.  Of course, this irrational idea couldn’t be further from the truth!  Individuals with developmental disabilities are okay, more than okay!  Their human spirits are simply housed in a different make and model of physical body because of brain damage brought on by circumstances beyond their control:  oxygen deprivation, physical abuse, head injuries, epileptic seizures, etc.   Fat v. thin, tall v. short, physically disable v. physically able, black v. white; shapes, sizes, colors do not define our “okay-ness” but rather our uniqueness.

Worst Fears Realized.  Individuals with development disabilities mirror our worst fears of living life in their wheelchair.  You and I have heard others say, or may have said ourselves, “I’d rather die than live life like that.  We non-disabled are challenged by the physical deformity and malfunctions, and these beautiful souls force us to face and challenge those inner fears and insecurities.  People with developmental disabilities facilitate within us an “attitude of gratitude” for our health, and teach us, by example, humility in the face of life challenges.

Screw Up.  I was scared I would screw up: say the wrong thing; misunderstand what the clients’ say; not know how to relate, or; not “stomach” their physical appearances, such as drooling (caused by dysphagia).  These fears stem from our own need to not feel awkward or seem imperfect. We avert our own discomfort by avoiding the individual with a disability, rooted in our own lack of confidence to relate and connect with him or her.  Fortunately, individuals with developmental disabilities are more unconditionally accepting of us than we tend to be of them.  Most overlook our inability to understand, as well as our awkward clumsiness in relating to them.  No doubt they feel similar fears, as well as frustration and impatience with us, and perhaps, themselves.  That, in and of itself, demonstrates we have much in common with each other, with which to relate.

Sound or feel familiar?

We must face fear first by recognizing and acknowledging it exists; pretending it doesn’t only makes matters worse.  Succumbing to fear leads to avoidance, lack of confidence, resistance, or quitting.  I faced my fear with my “lean into it” philosophy.  If I’m busy leaning into the experience, fear has little room to work on me.  It’s easier to say, “No thanks;” it more courageous to face one’s fears.  Our WFC clients lean into their seemingly insurmountable lives every single day; they face simple tasks on a daily basis to communicate, move their arms, legs, and hands, socialize, even eat, all with great effort and courage!  If they can do it, why can’t we find courage when it comes to visiting the WFC campus, volunteering, or starting a new position as a staff member?

If they can do it, there’s no excuse why I can’t.

In the Next Blog Entry:  Deep Breaths and Kleenexes - “. . . I felt nervous energy, anxiety and fear.  The room felt edgy.   I needed to relax . . . “

We want to hear from you!  Please share your responses and comments by clicking below on “Comment” – you may post them anonymously or using your gmail.com profile name.

“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley.  Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email!  Follow our blog!  Click on “Join our Site” below.

Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Development Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber (and/or other blog authors).  Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus.  Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.

Excited Yet Fearful

Growing up in Owensboro, I vaguely remember Wendell Foster’s Campus.  Upon return after a 26 year absence, Wendell Foster’s Campus (WFC) appeared as a blip on my radar.   While job hunting, I noticed a position opening for a Community Education Assistant at WFC.  Given my background in non-profit program management, public education and marketing, the job seemed to be a good fit so I applied, but since my resume may prove me over-qualified for the position, I did not expect to hear back from WFC.  I sent it anyway.

I knew nothing about WFC until I conducted research upon a surprising invitation for an interview.  Only then, I learned this organization served individuals with developmental disabilities as a residential campus and outpatient facility to those with autism, cerebral palsy and other brain-related injuries/illnesses.   Cool, I thought, I’ve enjoyed working with individuals with disabilities through volunteer work.  What little did I know how little I knew about WFC at this point!

Only until I stepped onto the grounds for my interview did I understand the magnificent presence this campus has.  One conversation with my future supervisor, Maggie Price, and a brief tour of the Sensory Park ignited my inner desire to become a part of this organization.  I was excited at the possibility to serve as a voice in support of a segment of our community enduring discrimination still today in Owensboro.  The history of the organization further impressed:  a Christian grass root effort of perseverance and faith through challenging times as a couple led the charge to support their own “spastic” child (the crude medical diagnosis of those with physical/mental disabilities in the 1940’s).  More amazing was Edith and Wendell Foster’s willingness to share their knowledge and experience with other families in similar circumstances and the continuous commitment over sixty years to provide invaluable services, care and independence for children with developmental disabilities.  Whatever apathy I had upon applying for this position transmuted into passion-arousing excitement at the opportunity to be an advocate for an inspirational group of people.  Eventually, I’m asked to return for a second interview and within a week, I’m offered the job!  
But then it happened.  Normal, not uncommon, and yet, unsettling for anyone stepping into an unfamiliar situation.  Naturally rising to the surface, generational, social and personal apprehensions reflected in this country’s history of discrimination, stereotyping, and fear.  A sense of dread set in as questions, doubt, fear reared ugly heads:  How do I relate to them?  Communicate?  Will I be adequate in dealing with them?  What if I can’t?  What will people think of me working with this population? Can I handle being around them?  Could I be comfortable around them?  Apprehension replaced my excitement.  The illusions disguised as an inability to relate, to understand and be around individuals whose physical appearances, verbal incapacities, and behavioral patterns seemed so severe tempted me to back out, to run the other direction.  But how can I think this way, feel this way?  I have volunteered with individuals with developmental disabilities before, and loved it!  Why am I hesitant?

Now I embark on a new adventure in my professional journey, joining WFC that’s positioned in a crossroads of strategic shift:  to improve the quality of services it delivers by embracing a mindset of “person-centered” service delivery to further expand the empowerment of our targeted population.  And I bring my baggage of fear, doubt, and apprehension in tow as I step through the doors of Wendell Foster’s Campus to report for my first day of work.

In the Next Blog Entry:  Leave Your Baggage at the Door - I was scared I would screw up: say the wrong thing; misunderstand what the clients say; not know how to relate, or; not “stomach” their physical appearances  . . . “

We want to hear from you!  Please share your responses and comments by clicking below on “Comment” – you may post them anonymously or using your gmail.com profile name.

“The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind.” ~Mason Cooley
Please share our blog with others via Facebook, Twitter, or email!  Follow our blog!  Click on “Join our Site” below.

Blog content is copyrighted property of Wendell Foster’s Campus for Development Disabilities and Carolyn Smith Ferber and/or other blog authors).  Content may be used, duplicated or reprinted only with the expressed authorization of the Wendell Foster’s Campus.  Permission for use, duplication or reprints may be made to wfcampus.org@gmail.com.